I cant believe it's the first of March - yet another year zooming past on the ever lasting cycle of insecurity, unknown and uncertainty thanks to 'The Company'. The whole IT dept is falling to pieces, Alan still has calls whenever he's off sick, holiday or even asleep! How in Gods name are they going to manage without him? It turns out that I am also considered disposable but you know what? I really am ready to take my cheque and leave now. This has been going on for over four years and I've had enough. Despite having over ten hours sleep last night, I still feel totally exhausted - stress is so draining. I dont know what I'd do outside of 'The Company' but at the moment I am wasting my life feeling miserable, unappreciated and discussed behind closed doors as if I'm just an office chair or a desk!
I've just received an email from an old and true friend to say that she's off travelling to Aus and NZ for six months travelling - this has just made my MLC feel even worse. I am so happy for Tina, I am so pleased she has the balls to do what she wants but it's just made me feel ever more low.
It's now been raining (with only hours of respite) for nearly three months. The garden has a pond I didnt plan, all I seem to do is trudge through mud, my hamstrings are killing me, Harvey's coat has all but fallen out (great for Crufts next week) and I seem to have two permanently wet dogs and a house full of silt from muddy creatures - but that's not disparaging them - they are my sanity and here are some photo's that can even make me smile in this dark, damp, miserable winter!
I need to think deeply about how to change all this but with a big mortgage, a small menagery and being completely spineless I'll probably just stay put, ride it out an
d see what the future brings - I just hope something happens soon before I lose my sanity!
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